


Things we don't speak about

by FrankieForPrimeMinister



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bobby Singer is done with everyones shit, Bonus Chapters that didn't fit into Storm & Hale, Dean in cartoon pie printed boxers, Gen, Okay it's definitely crack, Probably Crack, Sam wears a boob tube, might be crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8890057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieForPrimeMinister/pseuds/FrankieForPrimeMinister
Summary: Just some oneshots that didn't fit into a fic.





	

It was completely reasonable when the police officers pulled up next to them on the side of the road as they marched in a single file line back into town. The foursome were quite the sight and apparently several calls had been made about them.

The first offender to be identified was Dean Winchester, with his face drawn all over with a permanent marker, obscenities written across his brow. He wore a pink pinstriped tie and also lacked a shirt or pants and his boxer were most amusingly pattered with cartoon pies.

The only female in the group, identified as Lorelei Tempest, was wearing what used to be a yellow bathing suit, and was now covered from head to toe in what was hopefully very realistic fake blood. A tamagochi hung around her neck and the device let out growls every 73 seconds on the dot.

The third offender was the elder brother of the formerly stated female offender, identified to be Axel Tempest. He was also topless and wore tight, bottomless leather trousers and had what appeared to be a necklace entirely constructed of decapitated barbie heads around his neck.

The foursome was finished up with a very tall teenage boy found to be Sam Winchester with his hair braided, clad in a promisuous looking woman's fortune teller costume three sizes too small, with a beaded purple boob tube to boot. His turquoise eye-liner was smudged on one side and he had dark red lipstick on his front teeth.

All in all, it took less than 3 minutes for the officers to arrest the foursome and haul them into the back of an older model police van.

72 hours earlier...

They had just finished up a case in Washington involving a possessed President Nixon body pillow and were driving to Minnesota when they got a flat tire.

Dean had refused the notion of simply towing his fathers car and insisted that he would just walk to the town that could be seen on the horizon and bring back help. Not wanting to make a fuss, the other three had agreed and Dean had walked off into the horizon with a bottle of water in one hand and a spare plaid shirt in the other.

He had been gone several hours when Axel received a call from Dean at 1pm telling them to follow after him towards the town.

It had all gone down hill from there.

48 hours earlier...

Dean was nowhere to be found. They had tried all the most likely places to find the 20 year old hunter. There was not sign of him at the dodgy motel, though they did book a room to use as a base of operations. There was no sign of him or his extra plaid shirt in the obvious brothel and the diner had been a bust.

They had been searching through the small town for the entire day and they were still no closer to finding their missing companion.

Deciding to retire to the motel for the night and resume their search in the morning, the friends slumped in collective defeat. It wasn't exactly new for Dean to go off on some harlequin adventure, but he always let someone know what was going on. The fact that he had called and told them to come into town and never shown up at the meeting point had everyone worried.

It was around 6 am when Axel Tempest popped out of the motel for a quick smoke and trip to the convenience store across the road and not come back. The only reason Sam and Lorelei had known what was going on, was because he had left a note on the coffee table. Sam lifted the note up and read it out loud.

'Stormy and Boy Toy,

Gone across the road for a carton, be back soon.

If you two get bored, make a flea circus. There are plenty in the couch.

-A'

They found the note at 8am and Axel still wasn't back. When the teens walked across the road to ask the store owner about the missing person, they received a shrugged shoulder and a single lollipop to share between the two of them.

24 hours earlier...

Axel and Dean had been missing for two days. None of the locals had seen anything, and even then were pretty reluctant to talk to them.

The two teens stopped by the diner on their way back to the motel and shared a vague satisfaction about how nice the pie tasted and relished, if reluctantly, in the fact that a certain pie hog wasn't there to steal it off of their plate while they weren't looking like usual.

When they arrived back at the dingy motel, Lorelei grabbed a handfull of Q-Tips, nail polish and nail polish remover then excused herself to repaint her nails 'Fucking Sparkly Oz the Great and Powerful Green'. Sam walked into the bedroom after an hour and a half to find the room empty and an adress spelt out with green tinged Q-tips beside a spilt bottle of 'Fucking Sparkly Oz the Great and Powerful Green' nail polish.

12 hours earlier...

Sam had asked around for the address and found out that it was an abandoned farmhouse on the edge of town. Gathering as many make shift weapons that he could, Sam went off to what would be one the the strangest and mortifying days of his life.

And that was saying something.

Police Station

1 hour later...

The Foursome sat in a jail cell, waiting for an old friend of their fathers to bail them out.

They had sat in silence for the entire ride and had given the briefest and vaguest answers to the officers that were questioning them. The silence was broken when a man in a cap and vest walked into the precinct.

"Do I even want to know?" Questioned the gruff voice of Bobby Singer.

The group shared several looks before shaking their heads in unison.

"Did you at least get the bastards?" Bobby asked looking between the ragtag group.

They shared several looks again before Axel drew in a shaky breath and answered, "You know the rules. We hunt the supernatural."

Bobby nodded slowly, brows drawn together.

"There wasn't anything supernatural about what happened, just a town gone all 6's & 9's," Bobby raised an eyebrow at the young man before him. Axel let to another breath before he continued in resigned voice, "I really hate Montana now."

As they were being lead out of the station, towards Bobby's pick up truck, Axel turned to the group and spoke in a harsh whisper.

"We never speak of what happened last night again. No one will mention the milk bottles, the goat, or the flower sock and I never want to hear a gospel rendition of the Pokemon theme song again. Understood?" He looked from person to person, gazing at them as if to dare them to mention a Kazoo solo. He nodded, apparently satisfied with their answers and hoped into the front seat, bottom still visible through the cut out in the leather trousers.


End file.
